You once knew me as Henny Daniels; that was a pen name I used in order to hide my identity. I wanted to write fiction with the intent to entertain and eventually gain traction and a profitable fan-base, doing what I love. When I first released samples of my writing a few years ago, I began to get traffic and readers from all over the world; from various countries in Africa, to China, all the way to Spain. My short story series, ‘Not My Baby!’ had gotten pretty popular, and I have since gotten requests to continue posting those stories and finish that series. But, as I began to change my spiritual life, and get in deeper relationship with God, my desire to use my writing as entertainment and a way to “make it” quickly dwindled. I felt God had a bigger calling on my life and a more important way to use the gift He had given me.
Despite the constant requests to post new content, and the annual billing required to keep my site active, I halted the momentum my fictional writing had gained, and decided not to post anything to the public eye until I knew for sure what content God wanted me to write about.
And though I stopped sharing my writing, I definitely did not stop writing material. I gravitated toward documenting the journey I was on, attempting to gain a deeper relationship with my Lord and savior, Jesus Christ. Whenever I saw spiral notebooks or composition books in stores, I felt the urge to stock up and take my writing-style back to its origin– grade school, and the old way of writing with good ‘ole pen/pencil and paper.
God had always been in my life; however, I had not always been in God. There was a time as a young adult in college, where I can remember having every reason to be happy and excited about life and the endless possibilities that were before me due to the path I was on. Grade school was something I learned how to be good at, but somehow, I don’t think that was the purpose for it. After finally being in the world on my own, with no rules and little guidance, I found myself painfully unhappy more often than not.
But why? I had everything a worldly young person could want: a friend group, a full-ride scholarship, support from my parents, a boyfriend whom I had strong feelings for. Everyone always told me how pretty and smart I was. I had a solid future ahead of me and a present filled with much fun and parties, free alcohol everywhere I turned. Attention, a great social life; I always had a way to get around and get what I needed from day to day. I was staying in my boyfriend’s apartment, so I was rarely alone. Yet somehow when I was physically in a room by myself (or even surrounded by people), there was a deep dark unhappiness blooming inside of me.
From the outside looking in, I had it all together and there was no reason to be anything but joyous and content with life. But in reality, there was a huge void in my heart and soul that only God could fill. I tried to fill it with alcohol, parties, and sex. Maybe, I thought, my unhappiness stemmed from not being able to connect with my mom as much as I would have liked growing up since I was mostly raised by my single father. In other words, I would search and search for something to cure my unexplained depression– for years– but never find it, because what I was searching for was always with me; I just never gave Him the time of day.
In this life, if you are not grounded in a solid foundation of relationship with the One who created you and everyone and everything around you, nothing will make complete sense until you are. For many years, I made decisions on my own with little to no moral influence [despite giving my life to God at the age of fifteen], and every time those decisions came with lasting consequences; I had successfully made a mess of my life– but again, God was patiently waiting for me to turn to Him so he could make that mess a beautiful masterpiece.
It wasn’t until God began to remove the blinders from my spiritual eyes, that I could begin to see the state of my life and the true darkness of my heart.
By this time, I had three young children, no degree, no real skills to my name, and I had lost everything that I had gained without Him– everything except for those perfect children and an SUV to drive them around in.
Leaving a toxic relationship with three kids under the age of 6 and no money or income, I finally learned how to turn to God and truly mean it. Of course, over previous years, I had attended church and thought God and I had a decent relationship. But the truth of the matter was that my sin kept my heart far away from God– though he was always right next to me. When I had no one else to turn to, I began to search for God.
Today, God and I are in communication on the regular, and I look back on my life and tear-up due to realizing all He’s done for me and the trouble and pain He’s kept me from without any input from me. There is nothing I want more than to progress and increase in Him! My deepest desires are now to do His will and be obedient to Him after years of ignoring Him entirely.
This blog series is one of my first public acts of obedience to my heavenly Father, and I couldn’t be more excited to do His work. If you read this blog and could relate to anything I said, then I urge you to follow along as I post journal entries and biblical lessons from over the years that I’ve learned growing closer to the Creator of the universe. Because just as He has called for me and stopped at nothing to speak and connect with me over the years, He has done and is doing the same for you. This blog can teach you how to hear Him and listen– if your heart is ready and willing.
So, without further ado, allow me to reintroduce myself: my name is Asia DaCosta, most proudly known as child of the Most High God!