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Dear God,

I have another amazing experience to share that just (again) proves to me that I am on the right road of this journey called life:

I’ve struggled hard with letting go of a few different things in the name of righteousness and praising God— not only with song or dance but the way I live my life as well. Self-control has never been my strong suit, and that’s how I know for sure that God is changing me every day, and slowly, but surely influencing me to live in the spirit and not by flesh.

At some of my darkest points in life — before and after finding Jesus— music has nearly always been a sure way to lift my spirit and positively affect my mood. The problem was the music I was listening to (secular) was a temporary fix and many times influenced me to continue participating in habits and activities that put me in those low points in the first place.

I had maybe a total of 3 gospel songs I really liked and knew by heart. My kids knew them somewhat, but were more familiar with the songs I listened to on the regular—that almost all glorified sex, drugs, and just the wrong type of content for kids to listen to and sing on the regular— or anyone calling themselves a Christian for that matter. I was completely oblivious to what I was doing to myself and my kids!

Last year I downloaded the Amazon music app and had gotten over 500 secular songs downloaded to a regularly played list. Only recently had God given me the revelation that this music is toxic to not only my kids’ minds, but mine as well— so I began adding more gospel songs that I got from various sources.

TikTok was actually a major contribution because it introduced me to a new genre I never knew I needed— “ Christian bops”— which is Christian rap and R&B that share the same beats and melodic structures I’ve enjoyed my entire life, but the lyrics are about God and living right! It truly changed the game for me and made me realize that I could in fact let go of secular music.

Still, the switch wasn’t an easy or quick one, even after having my eyes opened to the truth. I still felt like I was missing true connection with the music like I had with some of my classic R&B jams— this genre had always been my favorite.

I love to sing, and I’m not great at it, but it’s been therapeutic over the years. So, I slowly deleted the worst ones, and added the good stuff. But I realized that every time I would make huge progress transforming that playlist, I would come back to that music app, and all the bad songs were right back, as if I never deleted anything— it took me a while to catch onto that.

Finally, I just deleted the app entirely — canceled the subscription too because obviously that app didn’t agree with my progress.

Lately, I’ve been listening to two or three of the new Christian bops I found on repeat because I feel the connection I was missing from the classic gospel songs I knew.

My favorite song to date is called I Surrender by V Rose. I’ve played it so much that tonight, my kids asked me to play it on the way to drop them off before work. To hear all three of them (especially the three year old) ask for it to be played, and then sing the lyrics with such enthusiasm— it was an indescribable feeling!

They were singing such a beautifully written song to Jesus, and they knew it! Or maybe they didn’t, but that moment made the struggle to rid my family of secular music seem more than worth it! I feel like I am becoming the mother I am supposed to be, and that is a priceless feeling. I pray they will always choose music that glorifies God— especially into adulthood.

Regardless, the seed has been planted, and now I will watch God make his way into their decisions and heart, as well as mine.

Father, in the name of Jesus, I come to you in prayer at work — but if I were at home saying this prayer, I would have my face on the floor, like Jesus did as a way to symbolize your greatness and my lowliness in comparison.

Without you, I am nothing— and have been for about 29 years of my (turning 30 in September). I have been spoiled all these years and well taken care of by your Grace, not even realizing it.

I get goosebumps, thinking of how much you will do as I get more in sync with your will—allowing the Holy Spirit to guide me instead of the self-destructing old me. Today, as I slept, you gave me a vision of my future. My business that I’ve had in my heart, for some years now was happening! The dream was short, but I saw the beginning of my breakthrough, and I know with all my heart that was just the tip of the iceberg! May your will be done, and I not get in the way!

Today, I confess to lusting, cursing, being quick to anger, and any other sin, that I may not have realized. Cleanse me from my old ways and make me brand new.

Thank you for your fullness of grace! Thank you for the sweet treat of witnessing the children worship you, and thank you 1 million times for baptizing me in the Holy Spirit. Thank you Jesus for your ultimate sacrifice, which allows me the ability to have my name written in the book of life; thank you for eternity, and granted access to your kingdom. I know I am not worthy, but thank you for making me anyway, by your Grace.

Now I ask for everyone I love to get their access as well. By your power, everyone I touch will be baptized in your spirit and make it through those golden gates. Every stranger I reach will be implanted with a fruitful seed and become your servant in due time. Lord, give me the perfect words to spark the interest of your children to come to you and stay with you forever. Thank you for your promise of answered prayer !

In Jesus mighty name, amen! ♥️

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